Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. Romans 12: 10
Dare 3: Love is not Selfish
"We live in a world that is enamored with 'self.'. . . If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness."
We are selfish from birth--it is part of our sin nature. Think about it, no one ever teaches a child to be selfish--but they are very selfish beings. Most sinful actions can be traced back to selfishness. "It is a trait we hate in other people, but justify in ourselves."
This is a hard idea to wrap my mind around when relating to our students. I should not be selfish around my students, but I am the teacher... and what I say, goes :). Here's where it got me though..."The bottom line is you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself."
Often times, I make decisions in my classroom in how to respond to my students out of love for myself... not for them. Or, I make decisions on what goes on in my classroom in order to make it easier on myself, and not necessarily whats best for the kids.
Here's the questions the book says to ask yourself...(modified of course)
- Do I truly want what's best for my students?
- Do I want them to feel loved by me?
- Do they believe I have their best interest in mind?
- Do they see me as looking out for myself first?
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." --Philippians 2:3
This Week's Dare
It is hard to care for something that you are not investing in. Look for ways you can invest in your kids. Maybe it is listening to a kid's stories when you'd rather be grading... buying a kid a new binder because his is broken... surprising your kids with a bonus of some sort... Or simply letting them know you're thinking of them....
And of course, continue working on patience and kindness.
Please share ways you are practicing patience, kindness, and selflessness with your kiddos... I would love to know how everyone else is living it out in their classrooms.
Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.
This has been the most life/classroom changing challenge so far. When I bagan to ask those questions I thought, "of course I want what's best for my students!" But I knew that the answer was too easy - I knew that I answered too quickly. It reminded me of the classic response, "of course I love Jesus!" Unfortunately, when I take a harder look at the fruits of my life - the decisions I make, how I interact with friends and strangers, my finances, my marriage - I fall pittifully short of truly loving Jesus. The same is true in my classroom. I realized that the way I respond to students when they aren't following directions, or even listening to directions for the 15th time was not reflecting the fact that I want what's best for my students. Instead, I was taking the behvaior personally and responding with an attitude that did nothing to help the student be successful. Don't get me wrong, I am not responding horribly to my students! But, my heart is not right, and because of this, I am not loving my students as they deserve.
ReplyDeleteThis week I have been thinking hard before I respond or make a classroom decision. I have been asking, "Is this what my student needs?". It is only Wednesday and I have made over 20 decisions differently because of this focus. Over 20 times I chose to use my time and respond to my students in the way that they needed. I was able to take my fragile ego out of it. It was not, "I have repeated the directions 5 times! This kid does not want to listen to me!!" - Instead it was me walking over to the student to repeat the directions a 6th time, for his ears only, slowly, step by step - and with a smile! Let me tell you - I have noticed a differnce in the way my students feel about themselves, their learning and each other.
This time of the year the stress begins to build - the work (and the laundry) gets backed up. It is so easy to switch into ultra selfish mode. Every day becomes strained as the pressures of the job increase and the pay and sleep decrese. The honeymoon period is over and we must make a choice. I chose to be a resource and a blessing to my students. I chose to love them unselfishly and design my classroom, and my attitude around them - the reason I am here.
:) Thanks so much for sharing Alyssa! I'm right there with ya on all of it. Too bad this doesn't come easy. And good thing God is in control!
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