Dare 6: Love is not Irritable

Better a patient person than a warrior; one with self control than one who takes a city.   ~ Proverbs 16:32

Dare 6: Love is not Irritable

We have reached the point in the school year where being irritable almost becomes acceptable to teachers.  We are almost through the first quarter, it has been a while since we've had a break, and quite frankly, we're getting a little worn down by our students.  I realized the other day that this has become acceptable when a coworker complained in passing about needing a break, and without thinking I responded in the same manner.  I didn't offer any positive encouragement; I didn't stop to think about my words.  When I walked away I was a little put-off with myself.  When had I become so irritable about being at work?

The Love Dare suggests that there are two main reasons that people become irritable: stress and selfishness.

Stress.  Almost the end of the quarter.  Projects and papers to grade.  Parent teacher conferences around the corner.  And I don't know about the rest of you, but our school is really stepping forward and making some much needed changes;  this is definitely a good thing, but it also leads to a good amount of stress.  Not to mention all the other stress life may be throwing your way.   But lets face it, when we are stressed, the easiest mood to revert to is irritable.  

Luckily, the Bible offers wisdom on helping us to avoid stress.  

- Let love guide our relationships.   Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.~ Colossians 3:12-14

- Pray about our anxieties. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

- Delegate when you are overworked. This one is particularly hard for me to do at work, but it is so very important.  ( Exodus 18:17-23 )

All of these, as well as taking a "sabbath" every week.  Make sure you have a day when school is not part of your day.  I know I'm horrible about this, but I always feel better when I have one day of the weekend that is completely school-free.  

And the second part: selfishness.  "Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule."  

This Week's Dare  

Choose to react to tough circumstances with your students in loving ways instead of becoming irritable.  Also, take some time to recognize where you should be adding in margin to your schedule. Planned time away from the stress of work can only be a good thing :) 

And hang in there!  When you catch yourself being irritable with a student, don't beat yourself up, just resolve that the next time you will handle the situation better.  

Love you. Have a great week! 

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.  

Dare 5: Love is not Rude

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful... 

~1 Corinthians 13: 4-5

Dare 5: Love is not Rude

"Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.  To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating." 

I don't know about the rest of you, but I teach 7/8 graders.  Translate that to I am constantly surrounded by all that is rudeness.  It is SO easy for me to respond rudely.
When I get frustrated by a rude student and respond in a similar manner, I am only letting them know that somehow I believe that their behavior is acceptable, and possibly even expected.   I think this is one of my biggest failures at being a good role model for my students.  Not that I am horribly rude to them, but I know they see me react in snide ways. 
"There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness."  
I sure hope neither of those qualities speak of who I am or who I am perceived to be.
Here are three questions (adapted) the book offers to test yourself:
- How do your students feel about the way you speak and act toward them?
- How does your behavior affect your students' sense of worth and self-esteem?
- Would your students say you are a blessing, or that you are condescending and embarrassing?

If you are thinking of other teachers who may act this way, please remember to check yourself as well.  Often times if we are quick to label others in their faults, we have a much bigger issue to be dealing with ourselves.  "Your likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness."  

The book also offers some guidelines to practicing etiquette:
-Guard the Golden Rule.  Treat your students the way you want to be treated (or the way you would like them to treat other students)
- No double standards.  Be as considerate to one student as you are to another.

This Week's Dare

This dare will be in two parts.  First, find a time throughout the week to hold a class meeting and discuss some qualities they really like in teachers.  Obviously, you will have to be careful with this discussion and offer guidelines for what is appropriate to say, etc.  Next, take a look at your own teaching.  Evaluate if there is anything you do as a teacher that could be irritating or embarrassing to your students.
What do you notice about your behavior?  What do you plan to do to improve these areas?


I'm praying that this is beneficial to you.  I know that so often I start my day or week remembering these things, then as the day progresses and things happen I am quick to forget.  I also know that I'm not the best model of love, but no one is.  God is love and that's all we need.  Praying that the fullness of His love would overwhelm us so much that it spills out through our lives.  

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.   

Dare 4: Love is Thoughtful

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself.  Each of you should look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.  - Philippians 2:3-4

Dare 4: Love is Thoughtful 

I don't know the depth of a lot of my students' stories, and I probably never will.  But I do know that many of them do not go home to loving and thoughtful homes.  (I also know that many of them do--I don't want to discredit those parents that are obviously doing their best for their children.)  

Sometimes it is overwhelming to think that perhaps no one has ever prayed for some of these students.  No one has ever taken time out of their day to do something thoughtful for them.  It is written all over their faces when they come to you with story after story, longing for you to listen.  Or when they sit so reserved in your classroom and never open up to anyone.  Everyone longs to be loved... and everyone longs to be thought of...

It is not a coincidence that being thoughtful comes after not being selfish.  If you are stuck in your selfish patterns throughout the day, you can pretty much bet you aren't doing anything thoughtful for your students either. Thoughtfulness is selflessness put into action.  

This Week's Dare

The idea this week... along with being patient, kind, and selfless... is to really show your students that you care for them.  What does that look like?  Maybe it is standing at your door when they come into your classroom and saying hello.  Maybe its taking a few minutes out of class to ask a student how they are doing--with no other agenda than to really know how they are doing.  Maybe it is evaluating what you could do for your students (as a whole or individually) that would make their lives a little bit easier.   Or maybe you will take a more private route this week and decide to pray for your students individually--truly interceding on their behalf--and asking the Lord to reveal Himself to them and bless them.  


Please share ways you have discovered to practice being thoughtful with your students.  I hope you all have a wonderful week.  Praying for you and your kiddos.  

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.  

Side note:  I hope that if you are truly participating in the love dare each week, that you are not only acting these out in your classrooms.  While I am focusing only on our students and how we can love them--they are not (or probably should not be) the most important things in our lives.  Your relationship with the Lord and your family should always come first.  Your thoughts should never be so consumed with loving your students that you forget to love your spouse or your own kids.  I know that sounds like a "duh!" comment, but I also know that it is incredibly easy to be consumed by work and all the baggage it can load on you.  So if you have a rough day at school practicing patience, that doesn't mean its okay to come home and throw it all to the wayside because it is hard.  We aren't just called to love our students... we are called to love.  In general.  Everyone.  All the time.  

Every part of our lives is a reflection of the Gospel inside us... what does your reflection look like?  

Dare 3: Love is not Selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.  Romans 12: 10 

Dare 3: Love is not Selfish 

"We live in a world that is enamored with 'self.'. . . If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness."  

We are selfish from birth--it is part of our sin nature.  Think about it, no one ever teaches a child to be selfish--but they are very selfish beings.  Most sinful actions can be traced back to selfishness.  "It is a trait we hate in other people, but justify in ourselves."  

This is a hard idea to wrap my mind around when relating to our students.  I should not be selfish around my students, but I am the teacher... and what I say, goes :).   Here's where it got me though..."The bottom line is you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself."  


Here's the questions the book says to ask yourself...(modified of course)
- Do I truly want what's best for my students?
- Do I want them to feel loved by me?  
- Do they believe I have their best interest in mind?  
- Do they see me as looking out for myself first?  

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves."  --Philippians 2:3 

This Week's Dare

It is hard to care for something that you are not investing in.  Look for ways you can invest in your kids.  Maybe it is listening to a kid's stories when you'd rather be grading... buying a kid a new binder because his is broken... surprising your kids with a bonus of some sort... Or simply letting them know you're thinking of them....
And of course, continue working on patience and kindness. 

Please share ways you are practicing patience, kindness, and selflessness with your kiddos... I would love to know how everyone else is living it out in their classrooms.   
Have a wonderful LONG weekend and a blessed week! 

<3 
 

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.