Dare 11: Love Lets the Other Win

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Philippians 2:4 

Dare 11: Love Lets the Other Win 

It seems like it has been forever since I've posted! I'm sorry for the long break!  I have, however, been thinking a lot about what it looks like to love our students.  I had the opportunity this past week to switch classrooms with a teacher in a class a year below me.  This class (ones I'll have next year) is a really difficult class all around.  I've been "warned" about them for the past few years, and rightfully so as there are a lot of major issues amongst them.  I know that if I find this year's kids (who are really great all around) hard to love at times, I'm really going to have a rough time next year.  So I'm really wanting to prepare myself and examine what it really looks like to love them and still be their authority. 

Sometimes the dares in this book are a little hard to modify because they are speaking about loving someone who is your soul mate, your equal.  Yes, we are to love our students, but it will require quite a bit of different love than our spouses.  So, what does it look like to let the other one win, when the other one is your student? 

Well, obviously, there are just going to be some things that are your way simply because you are the teacher, no matter what.  But the book points out that a lot of arguments stem from stubbornness... and the opposite of stubbornness is willingness.  I may not argue much with my students, but I know that sometimes I am probably a little too stubborn in my ways and I forgo being willing to listen to their excuses, or excuse me, their reasons, and automatically have things the way I think they should be.  

"...The one best example of it is Jesus Christ, as decribed in Philippians 2.  Follow the progression of His selfless love... As God, he had every right to refuse becoming man but yeilded and did--because he was willing.  He had the right to be served by all mankind but came to serve us instead.  He had the right to live in peace and safety but willingly laid down His life for or sins.  He was even willing to endure the grueling torture of the cross.  He loved, cooperated, and was willing to do His Father's will instead of His own.... 'Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus' (Philippians 2:5)--the attitude of willingness, flexibility, and humble submission.  It means laying down for the good of others what you have the right to claim for yourself."  

What does this look like for us teachers?  

a glitch in the system

So, I promise I'll post again next week.  My husband and I have just moved into a new house and we have no internet access at this point.  Its hard for me to get online long enough to be able to write the entire post.  I hope everything is going well for you all and that God is blessing you with the ability to truly love during this holiday season!

Dare 10: Love is Unconditional

My apologies for the late post.  I had every intention of getting it done yesterday, but God seems to have had some different plans in mind.  He's been stirring a lot on my heart the past couple of days.  A lot of uncomfortable realizations are coming to the forefront and I know God is wanting me to pursue Him in stronger ways than I have before.  
This week's dare is about unconditional love.  Reading over the chapter in the book, it felt as though it didn't apply much to loving our students.  It dives into the different types of love (greek-- agape, phileo, eros)... and quite honestly, I would really need to dig into the meaning of those words deeper for me to feel okay with applying it to our love for our students.  
But, part of what I am coming to realize is just how hard it is for me to fully accept that God's love for me is unconditional, which means that it is even harder for me to grasp what it looks like for me to love unconditionally.  
I'm just going to quote what the last part of the chapter says here...
"When your enjoyment of each other as best friends [referring to a spouse here]...is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.  But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless you allow God to begin growing His love within you.  Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7) does not come from within.  It can only come from God.  The Scriptures say that "neither death, nor life, nor angles, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39). This is God's kind of love.  And thankfully--by your choice--it can become your kind of love."

So, I think what I, personally, need to work on this week, is attempting to understand, beginning to comprehend just exactly what it means that God loves us unconditionally.   It is obviously the only way that I'm ever going to begin getting to love thing right.  I have to learn from the only one that does it perfectly... And I need to accept it for myself, so that I can truly give it to others.  It actually feels extremely overwhelming to even begin to think about it... 

So, i guess my dare for you this week is to go before God and ask Him to reveal His love to you in a way so clear that the only possible thing for you to do is to go share it with someone else... everyone else.  Its the only way we will ever learn to love our students the way God has called us to love them... 

And I'll be praying for you, too.  Praying that your hearts are open to receive love... praying that you would allow yourself to KNOW that you are worthy of His love... it may be really hard for some of us, but it will definitely be worth it...  

It will be a couple weeks before I put up another post.  I'm going to wait until after Thanksgiving since next week will probably be a very short and crazy week for most of us.  If you feel challenged to, please take this dare and really begin working it out in your life during that time.   

<3 
 

coming soon, I promise

Hello fellow teachers, I see that the site has already had several hits today, and I'm sorry the newest dare has not been posted.  I will get it up tomorrow afternoon for sure.  Have a happy Monday! :)

Dare 9: Love Makes Good Impressions

Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.  Greet one another with a holy kiss. 2 Corinthians 13: 11-13

Dare 9: Love Makes Good Impressions

It is interesting to me how often scripture speaks of how we should greet one another.  We teased my husband a couple weeks ago when he told our LifeGroup that we should be greeting each other with a holy kiss.  We decided that a group hug might be more acceptable.  But the reality of it is, is that Paul has taken time out of many of his books to instruct us on how to greet each other!  He even takes time at the end of Romans to ask them to individually greet 27 of his friends and loved ones for him. 

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus speaks about loving your enemies.  He says, "And if you only greet your own people, what are you doing more than others?  Do not even Pagans do that?" (Matthew 5:47)   It is easy for us to address the people we like graciously, but Jesus says we also need to address our enemies with this kindness.  

Until I started working on this week's dare, I didn't realize how much attention was paid to how we should GREET each other! I think it's kind of neat actually.  

So, what does that mean for us as teachers?  I'd say a lot, don't you think?! In a day I have 65 possible first greetings with my students, and you can double that number because I have most of them twice a day.  Not to mention my coworkers!  

"When someone communicates that they are glad to see you, your personal sense of self-worth increases.  You feel more important and valued.  That's because a good greeting sets the stage for positive and healthy interaction.  Like love, it puts wind in your sails." 

Harry Wong (the First Days of School guy) always talks about the importance of greeting your students before class with energy.  I think some of my better days with my students, especially when I've had a tough group of kids in the past, started with me standing outside the door and giving each student a high five or a big smile and "how are ya!?" as they walk into my classroom. 

"It doesn't have to be bold and dramatic every time, but adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch [you students'] heart in subtle, unspoken ways."  

This Week's Dare

This week is an easy dare!  Think of a few ways you would like to greet your students.  Remember, you probably greet your students several times a day, even if you have the same group of kids all day long.  Practice greeting them with a smile and enthusiasm.  Each one of them.  Remember... you might be the first person who has ever shown excitement to see any particular student.  You might be the first person who is truly working to love that student.  Do it well. 

Love you all! :) 

 

Dare 8: Love is Not Jealous

Dare 8: Love is Not Jealous

"Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man.  It comes from the root word for zeal and means 'to burn with an intense fire.'  The Scripture pointedly says, 'Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?' (Proverbs 27:4)"

To clear up a misconception of God and jealousy first it is important to recognize that there are two forms of jealousy: a legitimate jealousy and an illegitimate jealousy.  When scripture speaks of God being a jealous God it is referring to the legitimate jealousy which means that God is longing for us, desiring that we keep Him as our first love.  

Unfortunately, the jealousy that we struggle with is typically the illegitimate time.  It is very clearly in opposition to love.  It is rooted in selfishness.  "This is to be jealous of someone, to be 'moved with envy.'"  

This week's dare will focus a little more on our relations with our coworkers.  While I'm sure it is possible to become jealous of our students, I imagine that jealousy of our coworkers is a far bigger issue.  Jealousy happens when someone else has something, or gets something, that you want.  Instead of feeling happy for them, you get angry. It's so important to harness that anger and let love win out.  If that doesn't happen, that jealousy can take a deep root in your heart.  The book of James says that envy leads to fighting, quarreling, and every evil thing (James 3:16, 4:1-2).      


I'm going to avoid providing examples here for the sake of protecting my coworkers.   I know that I could provide plenty of examples of myself, but if any of my coworkers are reading this, I don't want anyone to feel as though I'm pointing our their "failures" as well... I'm sure if we take a step back it will be easy to become aware of where jealousy has seeped into our relationships at work--whether it be work related or life related.  


"Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in.... It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart."     

This Week's Dare

Determine to become your coworkers, and your students, biggest fans.  Reject any thoughts of jealousy.  Last week I asked that you make a list of the positive and negative things about some of your students.  This is where you will throw out the negative list--a way of showing you are ready to only look at the good in people.  Share with your coworkers and students your encouragement about successes they are encountering. 
What are some positive experiences you can celebrate in the life of your coworkers and students?   How can you encourage them toward future successes?  


Sidenote: Sometimes I look back on a week and wonder how well I have actually done with that week's particular dare.  It is easy to get caught up in the business of the day and forget to focus on one thing in particular.  What I'm trying to say is, don't get to caught up in the particulars.  The goal of this is to love our students better.  If you are striving to love your students (and coworkers, and family, etc.) then you're striving in toward the right goal.  I hope God is showing you new ways to love and is placing people in your lives that show you His love.  

Dare 7: Love Believes the Best

...Love believes all things, hopes all things...1 Corinthians 13:7

Dare 7: Love Believes the Best 

It can be very easy to become discouraged by our students' "failures."  At points it may be hard to remember that inside our students is something good.  Maybe its the desire to learn, or maybe the ability to be kind, or the desire to be good. 
We can  create excuses for them or possibly give up on them. And in the process we add to what the Love Dare refers to as the "Depreciation Room."  It is full of weaknesses and failures of students.  It can house very hateful thoughts or feelings toward students and make a teacher ready to fire when that student "fails" again.  

Luckily, there is also an "Appreciation Room."  This is where we keep all of the successes of our students.  All things true and good about our students... ALL of our students, not just the ones who are easy to appreciate.  

The items in both rooms may be true for the student, but it is important to focus on the Appreciation Room.  Love lives in the Appreciation Room.  Love chooses to believe the best in people.  To give them the benefit of the doubt.  And when our students fail us, love chooses to move forward to agree to focus on the good.  

"It is time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus.  The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your [students].  And the only reason you should ever go in this room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" in huge letters across the walls."  


It is SO important to develop the habit of throwing away your negative thoughts and focusing only on the positive ones.  I know that in the process of the day, this can feel very difficult.  I've experienced some very, very unlovable kids... and I know I definitely haven't always done my best in my attempts to love them.  But they still deserve love. 

This Week's Dare

For this week's dare, get two sheets of paper.  It would be great if you could do this dare for each of your students, but I realize that is not always possible.  So, if it isn't possible in your world, choose a few of the hardest to love students.  On the first sheet of paper, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about the student.  Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet.  Place both sheets in a secret (and secure!) place for another day.  There's a different purpose and plan for each.  At some point throughout the remainder of the week, pick one positive attribute and thank your students for having this characteristic.  



I hope you all are doing well.  My apologies for not getting this dare up sooner.  Life happens. :) Praying for you and hoping your week goes smoothly.  

Bye Week... kinda...

Hello all!  I will not be posting a new dare this week for a couple reasons.  The initial reason being that this is only a three day week for me.   We have parent teacher conferences on Thursday all day and no school on Friday.   
I have also felt like I need a little time to reflect on what it is that I'm wanting to happen by practicing the Love Dare on my students.  I know for sure that I'm not doing a great job at all of the dares that I'm offering up every week.  I have many moments of slip ups and sometimes feel slightly overwhelmed that I'm truly called to LOVE everyone... which includes each and every one one of my 65 students.  Some days this feels like a daunting task.  


So, this morning at church, God was softly reminding me of the reasons behind his calling for me to start the Love Dare journey....  


I'm a little pressed for time at the moment, so I'm just going to hit the highlights of what was said this morning.  If you care to listen to the entire sermon (which I highly suggest, our pastor does an amazing job of speaking the absolute truth of God's word, even over tough topics)  you can go to www.freshwaterbolivar.com and podcasts from all of the sermons are under the media tab.  


Ephesians 4
 ¹ Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. ² Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. ³ Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. ⁴ For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. ⁵ There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, ⁶ and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all.

- LEAD A LIFE WORTHY OF YOUR CALLING... 
- HUMILITY-- The only way to not become prideful is to be completely focused on the gospel.  And if you think you are being humble by not thinking highly of yourself (ie, bad self esteem, thinking you should/could be better at something) then you are still acting out of pride, only in reverse.   
       - The biggest problems in our relationships typically come from a root of pride.  We think we deserve to be treated a certain way or deserve the best opportunities, when in reality, the only thing we DESERVE is Hell... everything else is just a blessing.  So remember.... We are nothing, God is everything.  
- GENTLENESS--- Which is humbleness acted out. 
- PATIENCE--- take a look back at the first dare.  
- BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE--Bearing means we PUT UP WITH THEM. 

- If you are avoiding those that have different personalities than you... the people that you really just have a hard time getting along with... so you don't have to deal with them... then you have some massive pride issues. 

- When others see the way we treat each other they should step back and say "I can't believe it" 

- The scripture says we are "eager to MAINTAIN unity"  ... we already have the unity (as a body of Christ--because Christ is our ONE great Love), we don't have to build that unity... we just have to maintain it.... 

 So our pastor's challenge to us this week was to revisit the gospel every day.  Ask yourself, What has Christ done for me?  And if I'm called to love as Christ has loved, then what can I do for others?  Then repent and recommit.  

I'm in the process of trying to wrap my mind around all of this.  This particular passage was directed toward acting this way toward the body of believers... obviously not all of our students,  coworkers, etc. fall into that category... but I know that we're still called to love them the same...

Anyway, I think this week, for me at least, needs to be a week of reflection.  

I'm sure a lot of you are doing conferences this week.  I will be praying those go well for you!  And thanks to those of you who have committed to join me on this journey this year.  It feels good to know I'm not in this alone.  

God Bless!   



So, I realize this isn't what this blog is about, but I figure teacher-teacher you all will understand :)  I have a project up on donorschoose right now that really needs funding.  If you donate before October 18 *tomorrow* the donation is matched... so if you give $5 the project will receive $10.  Here's my site: http://www.donorschoose.org/mrsbarnoskie

Dare 6: Love is not Irritable

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. ~ Proverbs 16:32

Dare 6: Love is not Irritable

We have reached the point in the school year where being irritable almost becomes acceptable to teachers.  We are almost through the first quarter, it has been a while since we've had a break, and quite frankly, we're getting a little worn down by our students.  I realized the other day that this has become acceptable when a coworker complained in passing about needing a break, and without thinking I responded in the same manner.  I didn't offer any positive encouragement; I didn't stop to think about my words.  When I walked away I was a little put-off with myself.  When had I become so irritable about being at work?

The Love Dare suggests that there are two main reasons that people become irritable: stress and selfishness.

Stress.  End of the quarter.  Grades are due.  Parent teacher conferences.  And I don't know about the rest of you, but our school is really stepping forward and making some much needed changes;  this is definitely a good thing, but it also leads to a good amount of stress.  Not to mention all the other stress life may be throwing your way.   But lets face it, when we are stressed, the easiest mood to revert to is irritable.  

Luckily, the Bible offers wisdom on helping us to avoid stress.  

- Let love guide our relationships.   Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.~ Colossians 3:12-14

- Pray about our anxieties. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

- Delegate when you are overworked. This one is particularly hard for me to do at work, but it is so very important.  ( Exodus 18:17-23 )

All of these, as well as taking a "sabbath" every week.  Make sure you have a day when school is not part of your day.  I know I'm horrible about this, but I always feel better when I have one day of the weekend that is completely school-free.  

And the second part: selfishness.  "Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule."  

This Week's Dare  

Choose to react to tough circumstances with your students in loving ways instead of becoming irritable.  Also, take some time to recognize where you should be adding in margin to your schedule. Planned time away from the stress of work can only be a good thing :) 

And hang in there!  When you catch yourself being irritable with a student, don't beat yourself up, just resolve that the next time you will handle the situation better. 

Dare 5: Love is not Rude

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful... 

~1 Corinthians 13: 4-5

Dare 5: Love is not Rude

"Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.  To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating." 

I don't know about the rest of you, but I teach 7th grade.  Translate that to I am constantly surrounded by all that is rudeness.  It is SO easy for me to respond rudely.
When I get frustrated by a rude student and respond in a similar manner, I am only letting them know that somehow I believe that their behavior is acceptable, and possibly even expected.   I think this is one of my biggest failures at being a good role model for my students.  Not that I am horribly rude to them, but I know they see me react in snide ways.  I sure hope when I have kids that they don't have teachers modeling that behavior to them.
"There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness."  
I sure hope neither of those qualities speak of who I am or who I am perceived to be.
Here are three questions (adapted) the book offers to test yourself:
- How do your students feel about the way you speak and act toward them?
- How does your behavior affect your students' sense of worth and self-esteem?
- Would your students say you are a blessing, or that you are condescending and embarrassing?

If you are thinking of other teachers who may act this way, please remember to check yourself as well.  Often times if we are quick to label others in their faults, we have a much bigger issue to be dealing with ourselves.  "Your likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness."  

The book also offers some guidelines to practicing etiquette:
-Guard the Golden Rule.  Treat your students the way you want to be treated (or the way you would like them to treat other students) 
- No double standards.  Be as considerate to one student as you are to another.

This Week's Dare

This dare will be in two parts.  First, find a time throughout the week to hold a class meeting and discuss some qualities they really like in teachers.  Obviously, you will have to be careful with this discussion and offer guidelines for what is appropriate to say, etc.  Next, take a look at your own teaching.  Evaluate if there is anything you do as a teacher that could be irritating or embarrassing to your students. 
What do you notice about your behavior?  What do you plan to do to improve these areas? 

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.   


Another side note... Please remember that although it is important to pour love out on our students... your highest calling to love goes to God and your spouse. 

Dare 4: Love is Thoughtful

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself.  Each of you should look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.  - Philippians 2:3-4

Dare 4: Love is Thoughtful 

I don't know the depth of a lot of my students' stories, and I probably never will.  But I do know that many of them do not go home to loving and thoughtful homes.  (I also know that many of them do--I don't want to discredit those parents that are obviously doing their best for their children.)  

Sometimes it is overwhelming to think that perhaps no one has ever prayed for some of these students.  No one has ever taken time out of their day to do something thoughtful for them.  It is written all over their faces when they come to you with story after story, longing for you to listen.  Or when they sit so reserved in your classroom and never open up to anyone.  Everyone longs to be loved... and everyone longs to be thought of...

It is not a coincidence that being thoughtful comes after not being selfish.  If you are stuck in your selfish patterns throughout the day, you can pretty much bet you aren't doing anything thoughtful for your students either. Thoughtfulness is selflessness put into action.  

This Week's Dare

The idea this week... along with being patient, kind, and selfless... is to really show your students that you care for them.  What does that look like?  Maybe it is standing at your door when they come into your classroom and saying hello.  Maybe its taking a few minutes out of class to ask a student how they are doing--with no other agenda than to really know how they are doing.  Maybe it is evaluating what you could do for your students (as a whole or individually) that would make their lives a little bit easier.   Or maybe you will take a more private route this week and decide to pray for your students individually--truly interceding on their behalf--and asking the Lord to reveal Himself to them and bless them.  


Please share ways you have discovered to practice being thoughtful with your students.  I hope you all have a wonderful week.  Praying for you and your kiddos.  

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.  

Side note:  I hope that if you are truly participating in the love dare each week, that you are not only acting these out in your classrooms.  While I am focusing only on our students and how we can love them--they are not (or probably should not be) the most important things in our lives.  Your relationship with the Lord and your family should always come first.  Your thoughts should never be so consumed with loving your students that you forget to love your spouse or your own kids.  I know that sounds like a "duh!" comment, but I also know that it is incredibly easy to be consumed by work and all the baggage it can load on you.  So if you have a rough day at school practicing patience, that doesn't mean its okay to come home and throw it all to the wayside because it is hard.  We aren't just called to love our students... we are called to love.  In general.  Everyone.  All the time.  

Every part of our lives is a reflection of the Gospel inside us... what does your reflection look like?  

Dare 3: Love is not Selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.  Romans 12: 10 

Dare 3: Love is not Selfish 

"We live in a world that is enamored with 'self.'. . . If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness."  

We are selfish from birth--it is part of our sin nature.  Think about it, no one ever teaches a child to be selfish--but they are very selfish beings.  Most sinful actions can be traced back to selfishness.  "It is a trait we hate in other people, but justify in ourselves."  

This is a hard idea to wrap my mind around when relating to our students.  I should not be selfish around my students, but I am the teacher... and what I say, goes :).   Here's where it got me though..."The bottom line is you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself."  

Often times, I make decisions in my classroom in how to respond to my students out of love for myself... not for them.  Or, I make decisions on what goes on in my classroom in order to make it easier on myself, and not necessarily whats best for the kids.  

Here's the questions the book says to ask yourself...(modified of course)
- Do I truly want what's best for my students?
- Do I want them to feel loved by me?  
- Do they believe I have their best interest in mind?  
- Do they see me as looking out for myself first?  

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves."  --Philippians 2:3 

This Week's Dare

It is hard to care for something that you are not investing in.  Look for ways you can invest in your kids.  Maybe it is listening to a kid's stories when you'd rather be grading... buying a kid a new binder because his is broken... surprising your kids with a bonus of some sort... Or simply letting them know you're thinking of them....
And of course, continue working on patience and kindness. 

Please share ways you are practicing patience, kindness, and selflessness with your kiddos... I would love to know how everyone else is living it out in their classrooms.  
 

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.  

Dare 2: Love is Kind

"She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue"

Proverbs 31:26

Dare 2: Love is Kind 

Practicing patience helps to avoid negative situations, whereas practicing kindness helps creates positive situations. 

"Love makes you kind.  And kindness makes you likable. When you're kind, people want to be around you.  They see you as being good to them and good for them."  

"Do not let kindness and truth leave you;  bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  So you will find favor and repute in the eyes of God and man."   Proverbs 3:3-4

So, what does it mean to practice kindness on our kiddos?  The book has broken the term into four separate ideas.  

1.  Gentleness.  First let's think about what gentleness is not... It is not harsh, bitter, argumentative, careless, impatient :), irritable, insensitive, and maybe this is important for some to hear: gentleness is not weakness.  In fact, The Full Life Study Bible defines gentleness as restraint coupled with strength and courage.  I think gentleness with our students simply means being careful how we treat them (even the roughest piece of sandpaper in your class!).  When we have to discipline our students, gentleness means making the discipline as easy to hear as possible.  I really liked my friends idea of having an "Australia"
 corner in her classroom--where she sends a student to chill out and have a second to think about what's happening before any discipline occurs.  

2.  Helpfulness. The idea of being helpful is to meet the needs of the moment. I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like one of my most constant battles with my students is organization.  Man, those kids are unorganized!    I think often times what many of my students need more than anything is some help getting organized.  It is a frustrating process for me because I feel as though I spell out daily what to do to keep their binders, folders, and notebooks organized, and they still come to me looking like a mess!  This week I will practice being helpful in getting their worlds put together.  Instead of just telling them what needs to be done, I will sit down with them and work to put everything back together where it needs to be.  

3.  Willingness.   I had kind of a hard time figuring out what it meant to be willing with our students.  But I think that the biggest way we can practice willingness is to have the willingness to listen.  We need to listen to their joys and sorrows, to their explanations of wrongs, and maybe sometimes even to their excuses.  So often I jump on an excuse and don't really hear the student out.  I wonder how often I've squashed a perfectly acceptable explanation by saying "Excuses are like armpits...everyone has them, and they all stink!"  

4.  Initiative.   "Take the bull by the horns."  I have a student whom I have become particularly fond of.  He may be one of the most negative souls I have ever met, but he is funny as all get out!  I have begun to make it a point to smile at him and tell him to have a good day everyday--before he can tell me what a horrible day it's going to be.  Taking initiative means we greet our kids first, smile fist, serve first and forgive first.  

Jesus gave us a perfect picture of kindness in the story of the Good Samaritan.  A Jewish man is attacked by robbers and left for dead on the side of the road.  Two religious leaders pass by and do not stop--too good for such a lowly man.  But another man, a Samaritan--who culturally does not get along with Jews (understatement)--stops and takes care of all of the man's needs.  This act of kindness brought two enemies together.  

Do you have a student that has been labeled as a "bad kid" by the school system?  Or maybe a student that is hardly tolerable? Maybe we should attempt to do something kind for those students first. Kill 'em with kindness.  

"Love determines to show thoughtful actions, even when there is no reward.  You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness."  

This Week's Dare

In addition to saying nothing negative (patience) to your students this week,  do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.  

Try to reach as many students as possible.  And remember, as with patience, kindness and gentleness are fruits of the Spirit.  If you've already got the Spirit inside of you, tap into the gifts He's given.  :) 

Praying you have a blessed week.  

Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.  

Dare 1: Love is Patient

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

Dare 1: Love is Patient

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love.  

Ephesians 4:2

Everyone, whether they like to admit it or not, has a deep rooted desire for love.  Love changes things.  It always does what is best for others and empowers us to face our greatest problems.  Love makes relationships meaningful.  Love makes life meaningful. 

So many of our students have not been offered love—and perhaps some of you haven’t either.  A very wise man told me once that when you are longing for something, the easiest way to receive that something is to give it.  So our goal for this year is to give love.   I know God will show up in BIG ways when we follow His commandment to love.  Our students will be blessed… and we will be blessed. 

“Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is.  Those pillars are patience and kindness.   All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes.  And that’s where your dare will begin.  With patience.” 

Part of me wants to run away screaming at the thought of practicing PATIENCE with some of my students!  I hear myself saying, “It’s just not possible!  This kid is so __________.” Feel free to fill in your own blank there—I’m sure we all have a few of those wonderful kiddos.  I’ve adopted the term “sandpaper kids” to refer to those not-so-easy-to-love students.  They are smoothing out my imperfections through a very uncomfortable process. 

Loving those students will inspire you to be a more patient teacher.  You will begin to respond to negative situations in positive ways.  It will provide a calm in the midst of the storm our classrooms can sometimes become.  Perhaps you will even find ways to extend mercy (not giving something that they deserve; a disposition to be kind and forgiving)  to your students. 

Reacting out of anger will never make a situation better.  You may win in the moment, but what have you done to that child?  Anger typically will stir up new issues, while patience will put a stop to them.  “It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.” 

“Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment.”   How often do we truly get the opportunity to see the whole picture of our students’ lives?  How often do you take their lives outside of school into perspective before retaliating against their poor behavior?  Please don’t mistake me here; I believe whole-heartedly that students need to be disciplined.  Disciplined, not punished.  Perhaps this is where we need to take a step out of our busy days and attempt to understand where our students are coming from. 

Patience will not come naturally.  Often times when you are praying for patience, that is when your patience is most tested.  For those of you who have accepted Christ, remember that we already have His patience inside us.  Patience is a fruit of the Spirit—tap into it! 

This Week’s Dare

 

The way we treat our students and the things we say may very well be a reflection of the condition of our heart.  For the next week, resolve to practice patience with your students.  I know this may be very hard for some, so more than anything check what you SAY to your students.  What’s the rule we always teach them?  If you can’t say anything nice… don’t say anything at all!

Praying that God will bless us all with patience. 

Please share ways you are practicing patience with your students.  How did you handle specific situations where you would typically lash out?  Remember, it may be a while before you see changes in your students—so start the change with yourself. 


Kendrick, S, & Kendrick, A. (2008). The Love Dare. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group.

The Idea

You quickly realize when you are teacher that the one thing above everything else that your students need is love. Many students practically cry out for it on a daily basis. And they all have different reasons. I've found that many of my students do not receive the love they deserve at home--which I'm sure is the case for many teachers these days. Even the ones who do receive adequate love desire to feel accepted and a sense of belonging. What better way to care for our students than to love them?

Toward the end of the school year last year I decided I wanted to try the Love Dare out on my students. There were a couple other teachers on board and we kept it up for a couple weeks and then it fizzled out. It really wasn't a good time to start the task, and I've realize that with 60-70 students, one day for a dare really isn't enough.

My plan is to present a dare at the beginning of each week. I will try to post it over the weekend for those of you who would like to meditate on the idea before trying it out with your students--but please forgive me if it runs a little late. In order to get through all of the dares before summer break, some weeks the dares will be doubled up.

I'm going to go along with the "Love Dare" book and tweak it to fit the needs of a teacher attempting to love those sometimes-not-so-lovable students (as well as those that are just easy to love!). My hope is to have fellow teachers post about how they are practicing each week's dare on their students and share how it is working out. I love to learn from my fellow teachers!

This is my warning that although I may be an English teacher, I will not always compose my sentences correctly, and I will probably get caught up in what I'm saying and forget to add punctuation and do a lot of "dot dot dot" and use some sort of improper English...forgive me.

The goal is simply to love.

Will you join me?